So, I'm sitting awake doing two things: First, trying to figure out how the hell to delete more than one Facebook profile picture at a time...second, thinking about where I'm at in my life. Today. In the now. Okay, maybe I'm thinking about the future, but who doesn't? In 4 days I will be heading to Breckenridge, Colorado to explore some weird little adventurous side of myself. I never in a million years would have pictured myself packing up to go work in a restaurant that is conveniently located half way up a mountain slope. Especially after I graduated college and had to start thinking about career life and student loans. I guess, to be honest, I always just pictured myself heading out to wherever my then-boyfriend was so that I could spend time with him, working some random career-based job, being comfortable... I dunno. But sometimes life is completely unexpected, especially when someone that you become very dependent on breaks up with you...It forces you to figure out who you are, independently of anyone else (something I personally wish I would have done a few years ago). So here's a little snippet of how my last 2 months have looked: breakup, heartbreak, devastation, going through old photos, alcohol, friends, crying about the good times, work, more devastation (I gave myself 2 weeks to mope and be depressed until I decided I had to get my shit together), motivation, anger, job applications, thinking about what I really love, exploration, more job applications, boredom. Continuing this trend for a little bit, then...prayer, exploration, running, working out, spending time with the people I love and actually being mindful of spending time with the people I love, JOB OFFER. And just like that it's the little tiny low-income-work-in-a-mountain-restaurant-job that comes along just when you stop looking for what you need and start enjoying what you have. I've learned a lot about myself over the past few months. I've learned that I don't WANT to start a career yet. I've learned that I'm way too dependent on other people. I've learned that love is very important to me. I've learned that life goes on for other people even when you feel like the world you're living in is shattering. Most importantly, I've learned that the people who care about you will always be there...even if it's just to go get cream cheese puff's from Lee Ann Chin in the middle of the night just because I'm depressed (shout out to Kari again). Side note: something that is really frustrating is the amount of people that have told me to cut all ties with my ex. I understand that for some people it's better that way, but that doesn't mean it's better that way for everyone. I like being friends. Sometimes people are just better friends than lovers. Okay anyways. I'm really excited for my new adventure. I'm glad that happy things can happen in the unhappy times. Life is really full of ups and downs, but today I am sitting here wrapped in my cozy blanket, enjoying the butterflies that have completely filled my stomach. I'm ready to snowboard and meet new people. I'm ready to work a job that isn't using my college degree, and most importantly I'm ready to explore the one life that I've been given. I'm moving forward.
All good things to come.
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